From Across The Street

Annaaa... come to us illegally - no one will care. I do it all the time!
--Guy

Ironic That Their Initals Are "Morning"

This kick ass cup of coffee tastes more like ass and less like kick.
--A.M.

What Studying For Finals Sounds Like:

M: ...he got shot like Cheney...
L: Cheney didn't get shot, he SHOT someone!
A: This story is just full of holes.

[notice that their initials ironically spell a popular citation format]

A Good Story Needs To Set

M: A few minutes later, the plot thickens...
A: It takes a few minutes. It's like pudding.

The Children's Book They Didn't Publish

If you give a mouse a cookie, he'll ask you for some milk.
If you give a dog chocolate, he'll probably die.
-- L.P.

To My Suitemate Whose Lap Was Full Of Children's Books

"What are you studying for... Christmas?"
-- C.S.

Facebook Status 12.02.09

A: "Friends don't let friends use Excel for statistics."
B: I am using Excel right now! What are the odds, statistically speaking!