A Good Story Needs To Set

M: A few minutes later, the plot thickens...
A: It takes a few minutes. It's like pudding.

The Children's Book They Didn't Publish

If you give a mouse a cookie, he'll ask you for some milk.
If you give a dog chocolate, he'll probably die.
-- L.P.

To My Suitemate Whose Lap Was Full Of Children's Books

"What are you studying for... Christmas?"
-- C.S.

Facebook Status 12.02.09

A: "Friends don't let friends use Excel for statistics."
B: I am using Excel right now! What are the odds, statistically speaking!

Flipping Through The Channels:

"That looked like Jesus! Oh... nevermind... Orlando Bloom."

-- suitemate A.

First Scene Of 'Elmer Gantry'

"Drunk old men. Way to start a movie."

-- suitemate M.

She Was Just Kidding, Of Course

"I can't wait to become an alcoholic. One month from yesterday!"

-- my suitmate M.